Alien Investigation Force
Welcome to the AI Force main page! We've been around a long time. That kind of thing carries weight. But we assume many of you don't know who we are, so let us explain a little bit about ourselves.
History of the Unabashed Ripoff:
In 1931, our founder (who shall not be named for the time being) was born. He was a very quirky fellow, never one for much chit chat. He also didn't have many friends growing up, and once he got out of school, he didn't have much to do, either. His parents didn't really care what he did, and our founder had nothing particular in mind. So, he just wandered about endlessly.
One day, he was walking during a thunderstorm, like an idiot. Around him was nothing but tall wheat fields. As you might expect, he got struck by lightning. The force knocked him off his feet. In all honesty, he should have died right then and there. However, as he lay on the ground, he was given a vision of two cogs, spinning together, in the cosmos. An AI generated version (courtesy of the Dall-e Mini/Craiyon AI program, please credit them if using these images; all images, unless otherwise stated, are generated with that program) has been provided below:
Inspired by these transpiring events, in 1956, our founder opened up the Alien Investigation Force, with the aim to contain and protect alien entities from human forces, as well as study them and see if they could ever be incorporated into normal, human society. Then our founder got run over by a double decker bus.
Although our founder is long gone, his legacy remains with us to this very day. Below you will see links to various entities we have captured and studied. Each link will lead you to a page that lists the being's name, age, and various other details. We also listed if the creature is alive or not, based on a scale. Extinct is self-explanatory; the creature no longer exists, nor does any other known creature that is of its same type or species. Endangered usually means that the entity we have of a species is dead, but there may be a few others out there. Living is the default rating for all creatures who are alive in our care. We also have a Danger level ranking, also based on a scale. The first level is Pacifist. Pacifist generally indicates that the creature is very docile, and not prone to attacking at all. In fact, pacifistic entities generally abhor violence. Next is Peaceful. Peaceful entities may attack, but only if they feel they are strong enough or willing enough to do so. They tend to be the most terrified of entities, acting like scared rabbits. They're also less likely to try and defend themselves. Because of this, we have taken it upon ourselves to avoid any experiments that may hurt Peaceful entities, physically, mentally, or otherwise. These entities are instead treated more as pets or scared children. All experiments we try on them involve safe, pleasant interactions where we try to get them to act less scared, if at all possible. The next level after that is Friendly. Friendly entities are more likely than Peaceful entities to actually defend themselves, although they're most comparable to a well-trained, well-treated Golden Retriever, or other such "friendly" dogs. These entities also tend to be more curious about their surroundings, are more likely to want to help anyone and everyone, and are also more likely to try and interact with various other entities in the facility. The next level is Docile. Docile entities are more prone to attacking than Friendly entities, however, that only happens if Docile entities feel provoked. As long as they are treated well, and not poked and prodded too much, they are generally safe to be around. The next level is Angry. Angry entities are more prone to anger than other entities listed prior, and, as such, are also more likely to attack. However, they are usually quite easy to calm down, once our faculty get to know them. As long as they stay calm, they are not deemed too threatening. The next level is Unintentionally Damaging. These entities, as the title suggest, are prone to more threatening attacks, and can even kill in rare cases, but they have been deemed as having no control over such things. These entities must be cared for carefully, but regardless of the danger, we gladly welcome them here at our facility. The next level is Unpredictable. Unpredictable entities, as you might have guessed, can be hard to deal with. They tend to be quite violent sometimes, often with no rhyme or reason. However, we still value their inclusion here at our facility, and believe that despite how unpredictable, and often deadly, they are, these entities still deserve to live a good life, or as good of one as we can provide. Next is Dangerous. These entities are simply dangerous, and must be handled only by our second-highest level of faculty. These entities may have something that makes them calm or even docile, but that can be hard to determine right away, and some entities with this label take years or even longer to provide our researchers with any information that can help calm them down. The last level is Ripper. These entities are the most dangerous. All faculty put in charge of handling them must have a specific, protective suit, and authorized, company-grade weapons on them AT ALL TIMES. Rippers are quite intelligent, often killing for sport or just for the fun of it. However, for whatever reason, they have never tried to kill any of the other entities in the facility. We don't understand what comradery they share with other entities, or why even our most pacifistic entities don't become an easy target in their eyes, but we are thankful for that. If you are wondering, yes, we did fire the buffoons responsible for putting Peaceful entities in the same room as a Ripper entity. With that out of the way, how about you look through our index of entities?
Entity 4:
Name: "The Edible Cartridge"
Type: A video game cartridge with a bite taken out of it
Age: Unknown
Living Status: Living? If you can call an inanimate object "living"
Danger Level: Unintentionally Damaging? Dangerous?
Description: We found this object out by the curbside of a house, inside a box labeled FREE on the front, back in 2006. The cartridge is quite mundane, although it does have a bite in it. At first, we were confused abou this. However, in 2012, the reason behind this bite came to light, when one of our faculty says that the cartridge's generic video game label mysteriously had the words "EAT ME" in all caps written on it, like one of those objects Alice eats in Alice in Wonderland. Upon eating part of the cartridge, the employee started to complain of stomach cramps. Soon, there was blood in their stools. After a few days, they did recover, but now this cartridge has been deemed as somewhat of a threat. Due to it being a cartridge, one with no way of communicating with us, we are unable to rank it with a specific Danger Level, and have instead resorted to calling it a Special Case. Employees who are selected to handle Special Case entities have been given precise functions on how to do as such. For the most part, this cartridge is believed to be mostly harmless, unless eaten. Which isn't something you should do with a video game cartridge anyway.
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